I was in the lady’s room today at work, you know, just taking care of business when my olfactory bulbs were assaulted with a familiar scent.  ‘OMG! What is that smell?’, I thought to myself.  Perhaps you are thinking it is an icky ‘bathroom’ scent, but no, you would be wrong.  It was the scent of my youth, Calgon’s Hawaiian Ginger spray.  Perhaps you are familiar?  These scents were very popular in the mid-to-late 90’s and I was all about some Hawaiian Ginger back then.

Ordinarily one might be pleased to smell a scent from the past.  Often times a particular smell will take me back to a happy time in my life.  For example, the scent of lavender reminds me of my Mother; the smell of bacon reminds me of waking up at my family’s cabin to my Grandmother making breakfast for everyone; Tommy Hilfiger’s cologne Tommy reminds me of my first boyfriend and you know, all the memories one might have about their first boyfriend… you get the general idea here.

Calgon’s Hawaiian Ginger however takes me away to a memory I never want in the forefront of my mind…the day I fed my cocker spaniel Lady a banana.  What?  Who feeds a dog a banana?  Me – that’s who and it was quite possibly the dumbest fucking idea I ever had!  Who knows what goes on in the mind of a 14 year old when they decide to give a chubby, sweet dog a banana as a treat.  Presumably she was looking extra cute, we were out of dog bones and I wanted to reward her with a banana.  Whatever.  What happened after I gave her the banana is where this story takes a turn.  Yes, a turn for the DISGUSTING!

I will save you the misery of describing what that banana did to the innards of my sweet dog, but Lawd ‘ave Mercy, she did not spare us.  Lady dumped that load directly in the house.  More specifically, in my brother’s bedroom.  I suppose I should have been grateful that she didn’t leave the dump in my room, but I wasn’t.  I was scared a little.  I had two options here:

Option #1:  Enter Boy’s room and prepare for the ass whooping of a lifetime for breaching the sanctity of a 12 year old man-boy’s room.  You see Boy, was just at the age where he was a little bigger than me now, and perhaps a little stronger.  With explicit instructions never to enter his room, I was scared to violate that order and find out if Boy was in fact able to kick my ass. 

Option #2: Spray a nice smelling scent into Boy’s room in order to mask the heinous smell and hope that perhaps he might not notice.

So, in an effort to rid the house of the stench of banana poo, I decided on option #2.  I sprayed that Hawaiian Ginger all over the damn place.  I stood in Boy’s doorway, careful not to cross the threshold, and spritzed until I thought my finger might fall off.  Then I closed the door and said a quick prayer.

Unfortunately for me, Jesus must have been on vacation that day because Boy came home a little later and found the banana poo scent masked heavily by Hawaiian Ginger.  He was NOT pleased.  Indeed, my fears had been accurate, he was now able to KICK MY ASS.  He then proceeded to do so. 

Calgon’s Hawaiian Ginger was ruined for me that day.

Do you have a scent that takes you somewhere special?  How ’bout one that takes you to a not-so-good place?  Share with me, I’m friendly!